bye bye 2006. hello 2007.

about 20 minutes ago, i sat down to blog about my achievements in 2006. 20 minutes later, i realised i didn't have much to write home about. i waited for a rush of things i had achieved this past year to come into my mind, i mean, it was 365 days worth of living.

but nothing came.

all i could think of was: i brought my mum on a trip to hongkong using my own hard-earned money. the first ever.

then i thought about jo's husband buying his parents a pair of first-class air tickets to singapore by the time he was my age.

that kind of put my achievement into perspective.

what happened to me in 2006? what did i do? did i just waste one entire year of my life away? when i thought back to this year that just passed, all i remembered was that i took each day as it came. not in a living-each-day-as-though-it-was-my-last or seize-the-moment-carpe-diem way, but a oh-god-just-let-me-survive-this-horrible-day way. a most depressing realisation. i honestly hope this is cos' of the melancholic mood i'm in now.

i've always wanted to live life to its fullest. but when it came down to the actual living, all i want to do is curl up in my bed with a book, occasionally fantasising about my object of affection. i'm such an escapist.

there are things that i'd like to do though. but i'm finding them so hard to:

1. i wish i had more confidence in myself and my beliefs.
2. i wish i really knew what i want to do with my life. i do so envy those people who do, and are honestly passionate about what they do.
3. more than anything in the world, i wish i had the guts to take 6 months to a year out to just travel and do nothing. i wish i did not constantly worry about holding a good job to justify my expensive overseas education / building a career / saving enough money, so on and so forth, and how a long hiatus from working would affect one or more of the above.

i guess if i had the first one, 2 and 3 come easily. but life's about overcoming all these "obstacles" i suppose, and moulding yourself into becoming the person that you'd like to be.

2007's probably a good year to try and make a head way with these "obstacles".

happy new year everyone.